Snakeskin Is What Turns Me On
by irmak
Summary: A not very future but AU LoganVeronica fic. Veronica finds out that another local mob family of Neptune is behind the bus crash, and asks for Logan's help. Fluffy, yet hot, snarkastic and cracktastic.


"Holy shit!"

"What?" Veronica gave Logan a wickedly delicious grin. "Is there something wrong?" She blinked innocently. She glanced down at her outfit, knowing goddamn well that there _wasn't_.

"You look…"

Logan's jaw was dragging in the floor, his eyes as wide as saucers. She was wearing a pink sparkly tube top, gold bangles around her wrists, and a short denim skirt that showcased her short but shapely legs. But what was really getting his blood boiling was a pair of snakeskin leather boots that hugged her lean calves.

"...Different?" Veronica suggested helpfully.

"I was about to say 'hot' but, I guess '_different_' works, too."

"Yeah, well." Veronica did a slow pivot in front of the bedroom mirror. "You know how much I love the ego-boost, so please continue."

"You look hot. But my birthday is months away. And yes, even though you look like you're ready to ride the bull, I prefer black skin-tight latex."

"You wish," Veronica said with a wry grin, "this is for work."

Logan gave her a look of faux-shock. "Honey, if you're short on money, I can always lend you some. I don't appreciate my girlfriend working for _long_ hours into the night."

"This is the Logan we all love, implying that I'm a prostitute."

"Prostitute is your word. My choice would be… a _hard_ worker."

"And here I was asking for your help. Silly me."

Logan scratched his chin, thinking. "I've always thought that we were doing that for free. I didn't know you were charging."

Veronica grabbed the pillow lying on the couch next to her and threw it to him. "Bastard! I need back up!"

That suddenly captured Logan's attention. "Whoa!" He raised his hands to the air to stop her. "Are you saying that you're going out for a _case_ dressed like this? No way in hell."

"Jealous?"

"It's not jealousy." Logan waved his hand dismissively at Veronica. "I'm just worried..."

"...of other guys trying to get into my pants," she supplied sweetly. "Newsflash! That's called jealousy."

"I know what jealousy is, okay? And I'm not giving you the 'I don't get jealous' crap, because we both know that I _am_ jealous… but this isn't like that. I'm more worried that some guy will try to jump you, looking that good. What if someone tries-"

Veronica smiled reassuringly. "That's why I'm asking for your help. We'll go to the Dozor-"

"The _cowboy_ bar?" Logan shook his head, stunned. "What the hell are we gonna do there?"

"Wellll, glad you asked, lover," Veronica replied cheekily. "This fine establishment is run by a Russian family called the Markovas, several members of which are in deep with the Fitzpatricks. The bar isn't so much a _bar _as it is a cover for their money laundering and drug dealing."

"Yes, but a country-and-western bar? Isn't that like, the most ironic thing, ever?"

"Stay on task, Logan. We're going to get one of them to talk. This..." she began, whipping a photograph out of her bag, "is Yuri, and he's our best bet."

"I will ask 'about what?' in a minute, but answer this first: How are you gonna do _that_ on _their_ turf?" he asked, perplexed.

She gave him a smug smile. "This?" She gestured at her outfit. "is to lure him outside...where you'll be waiting...with chloroform."

"And _why_ are we doing this?"

"Because I found new evidence that links the bus crash to them."

"_What_? I thought this case was all about the Fitzpatricks."

"So did I. But I guess it's still all about them, we only need Yuri to confess."

"You think you can do that?"

"You think you can knock him out, tie him up and then threaten him?"

They looked each other with challenging eyes, both of them knowing that this was turning into foreplay for them.

"Okay, Sydney, let's go, then." As Logan reached for his car keys, Veronica stopped him.

"Sorry, Sark, but we'll take my car. They'd see us coming a mile away in Big Bird. Plus, I rented a Camaro." She flashed a saucy grin.

"First. My. Car. Kicks. Ass. Second, don't you think you had gotten yourself into this 'cowgirl' disguise a little bit too far? Also, Sark? I've always thought you were a Vaughn girl."

"_Please_. You know I love the bad boys," she said, giving him a knowing smile.

"Well, I guess he _is_ kinda hot."

"Aw, you and your ambiguously gay moments..." Veronica pinched Logan's cheek affectionately.

"Hey, at least _I'm_ not the one wearing cowboy boots and a tight mini skirt to bring a fucking _Russian_ family down."

"And I'm still sad about that, actually. I've always wanted to see you in something you had to pour yourself into."

"Well, if this is a dare to see whose ass looks better in tight denim, you're totally on."

"Oh, please. Like you need excuses to wear tight denim." She walked over just to grab his ass, squeezing slowly. "Like this one, here. Nice."

"Of course it is, babe. Did I ever disappoint you?"

"Outside the bedroom? Yes. Repeatedly. Over and over."

Logan yawned, just to annoy her. "At least we both agree on what I do the best."

"Yeah, being a bitch."

"You're jealous because you're only a bitch when you're talking," Logan snarked back, feeling his temperature start to rise with every sarcastic word, every shake of her sexy little hips.

"This is a new low for you. Proud of being a bitch."

"I don't deny the real me. I was born to fuck and look handsome."

Veronica rolled her eyes. "Yeah, God works in mysterious ways."

She reluctantly removed her hand from Logan's ass and went to the kitchen counter, leaning over the counter to get her key. Her skirt lifted up to show her pink panties underneath and Logan sighed contentedly as he enjoyed the view.

"Um, I don't remember you getting dressed like Jess-the-Drug-Ho when we went to the River Stix, so why now?"

Veronica rose, cocking an eyebrow. "The O.C.? Your pop culture references are getting worse and worse everyday. And I totally would if you were Trey."

"First Sark, now Trey? What's with you and your bad boys, Veronica?"

"Well…" Veronica slowly sashayed over to Logan, her movements as graceful and effortless at a cat's. "You know how I like my guys pushing my buttons."

"And you know how good I am at _pushing_. And don't tell me that we have to leave right now." Logan smirked, waiting for Veronica to touch him.

"I'm sure Yuri will appreciate the fact that we didn't keep him waiting," Veronica teased.

But even as she said that, she pushed Logan back onto the sofa and knelt between his knees, her eyes locked on his. Her hands snaked their way up to his zipper, her fingers rubbed his hardness through the denim of his jeans. Logan gasped, and she gave him a lazy smile. With one hand, she unzipped his pants, as the other one reached to his abs, trying to get under his shirt, desperately in need of touching some skin.

She slipped her hand between the flimsy cotton of his boxers and his skin, seeking his erection. Her fingers found their prize and she gently squeezed his cock. She moaned softly as she felt him growing even longer and harder in her hand. Logan swallowed and closed his eyes for a split second, but they both loved maintaining eye contact through their sexual activities; it connected them intimately in a way that simple skin-on-skin could not. They didn't make the slightest sound; just bit their lips in unison, their eyes never leaving one another's.

Logan held his breath when Veronica freed him from his boxers and slowly opened her mouth. He could swear later that it was the vision of his beautiful lover, lips parted, before her luscious mouth even touched him, that drove him over the edge.

She touched the tip of his cock with her tongue, and his body immediately stiffened; Logan's moan was a low whine in the back of his throat. Veronica's fingers slowly encircled him, so light that he could barely feel their presence, the heat rising from her panting mouth burning him up from the inside. She swirled her tongue around his sensitive head. He felt Veronica kiss his tip, then slowly part her soft lips to let it slip inside her mouth.

Moaning, Logan reached up inside her tube top and pulled at her nipples, trying to release some of the tension inside of him, he felt Veronica grab onto his cock and rotate it inside of her mouth, as her soft lips rubbed against the ridge on his head, while her tongue swirled inside the seal of her mouth.

Veronica slowly began to bob her head, letting inch after sweet inch into her throat. Logan tried to roll his hips and push his dick into Veronica's mouth, but she kept a firm grip on his dick, just letting out a giggle to show how much she enjoyed his impatience. The vibrations of her laughter tingled around Logan's cock, resonating through every nerve ending.

Finally, he just let go, letting his hands drop off of her breasts and enjoying the smooth, soft grip of Veronica's lips on his dick. He licked his lips, dying to taste Veronica the way she was feasting on his cock, sucking him into pure pleasure as he shivered with her touch. He felt her lips stop just soft of the base of his dick, making his body quiver in anticipation. After a teasing lick, a smug smile and a few quick hand strokes, he felt her lips slide down his shaft, her throat pulling on his dick, until they kissed the base of his dick, her tongue snaking out to lick his balls. He simply bit his lip as he felt Veronica coolly slide her lips back and forth on his shaft, having the night air coming from the slightly-open window tease him each time Veronica slid his dick out of her mouth. He reached down and stroked her hair, and they both moaned, their eyes never leaving each other's.

"Oh, God, that feels good," Logan groaned, with what little breath he could muster.

He felt lost in the ecstasy, pleasure building up inside him and he knew it wouldn't be long. "Veronica, I..." he gasped in warning, but she just smiled seductively and continued working her mouth over his cock.

Logan let go of his control, feeling Veronica's hands at his hips, trying to control his jerking movements. Her mouth pulled him to the edge of his sanity, and then he came, moaning deliriously. He felt for her face, her hair, anything that he could touch, that he could connect with in the aftermath.

Veronica swallowed, and then clambered onto his lap, kissing him softly.

"I. Fucking. Love. You," he whispered into her mouth slowly.

"I love you, too," she murmured quietly, staring into his eyes. They shared a private, emotional moment before Veronica glanced at her watch and gasped. "And I totally deserve a rain check. But right now, we gotta go."

Logan blushed slightly. "Oh, my knees are… kinda weak, right now."

"So, are you finally admitting that I can tire you out?"

And with that sentence, Logan was up to his feet, almost running to the Camaro. Veronica shook her heads for a few times, laughing. "You're so goddamn easy to manipulate."

The bar was crowded, and thanks to Logan's fingers finding their way into her panties during the ride, Veronica looked flushed and 'recently fucked' by the time that they arrived. The plan was for her to smile at everyone, but flirt only with one Yuri Markova. And if they were lucky, he would believe that this was just his lucky night.

It didn't take more than ten minutes for Veronica to lure him out of the bar and into the sultry air of the summer night. Logan had been waiting anxiously, telling himself that he'd be going in to save his girl if she hadn't returned for another five minutes.

When Yuri reached to the Camaro and turned to Veronica to kiss her, she tasered him, without even blinking an eyelash. The jolt didn't knock him unconscious, but merely stunned him, and probably pissed him off. Luckily, Logan and his chloroform were seconds behind.

"I've done many bad things and been accused of many others, but I've never actually _kidnapped_ someone before." Logan kissed Veronica deeply, his tongue wandering around her lips. "You, my love, you are a bad influence."

"I know. I'm totally the Clyde of this relationship."

"Aren't your jokes about my latent homosexuality getting just a little old?"

Veronica put a finger to her lips, as if in deep pontification. "Hmmmm… no." Logan helped her buckle the enormous Russian into the small rental car, their smirks growing wider.

"You know, _honey_, if you wanted to be the man, I think you already have the wardrobe to get started," Logan retorted.

"For perhaps the first time I'm truly sorry that I have neither the ruler nor the dick so we could see which one of us packs more heat."

Yuri groaned painfully, and any trace of teasing left Veronica's features.

"We should go, now, before someone hears him."

"Yes, ma'am." Logan bowed dramatically for her benefit, and Veronica rolled her eyes.

"Always the drama queen!" Veronica huffed.

It wasn't until twenty minutes later that Yuri actually regained consciousness, and he looked rather shaken realizing that he was tied up in a large, dark warehouse. When Veronica approached him, his face twitched in anger, he suddenly realized he was hoodwinked.

Yuri didn't answer for the first few times when Veronica asked about the bus crash, but his anxiety proved that he knew something.

"Tell me who made you do this!"

"No way in hell, _bitch_," Yuri hissed.

Veronica shrugged and turned to Logan. "I'm sorry, I just don't get it. I'm the one holding the taser, he's the one that's tied up." She looked down at her prisoner again. "So, objecting helps you, how?"

"I'll fucking kill you when I get these off--" the Russian rattled the handcuffs that were binding his wrists.

Logan jabbed a finger at him. "You!" He warned, voice low and trembling with frustration. "If you ever fucking try to touch her-"

"Don't worry, little boy, I'll kill you, too," Yuri ineffectually spat blood in Logan's general direction.

"Hey." Veronica slowly touched Logan's arm, soothingly. Like a purring, affectionate cat, she cuddled Logan for a moment, feeling his stress melt away. "I've got a better way to handle this, Robin."

She reached over her bag and grabbed a file inside, tilting her head as she removed a photograph from the folder. Yuri's eyes narrowed suspiciously as he glanced at the photo.

"See this guy?" Veronica shoved the photo in Yuri's face. "Murdered. There was a strand of hair found on his clothes. But they never found the matching DNA, since no one managed to find a suspect." She glanced at Logan. "Well, several members of the _esteemed_ Markova family were the prime suspects, but, you know our beloved sheriff. It's amazing how even a little bit of money makes him as blind as a bat."

Logan smiled and nodded slowly as Veronica turned back to Yuri and plucked a strand of his hair.

"This one is for the DNA test," she said, and then she plucked another one, "and this is for if they don't already match."

Yuri gave her a wry smile. "You're suggesting that _you _will fix the evidence? How old are you, anyway?"

"Okay, CSI. Reality check. In the last hour, I've managed to seduce, kidnap _and_ tie you up. I've gotten my hands on the unsolved case file and deduced that you or your family is responsible for this man's death. What exactly makes you think that I can't tamper with the evidence just because I'm only eighteen?"

Veronica started reading the file again, after a few minutes, she cocked an eyebrow. "Um, according to victim's long-time partner, the murderer has a nasty burn on his arm."

Logan ripped Yuri's sleeves before he could object, only to reveal one big burn on his right arm.

"Voila!" Logan said, smirking.

Veronica fished her Sidekick out of her bag. "Hmmm, I wonder, should I dial 911 or just call Lamb's office so I can personally tell him all about catching a criminal that he couldn't?"

"Are you gonna talk, man?" Logan leaned towards the tied-up man, his hands squeezing Yuri's arms. "Seriously, I feel like we bonded here today. If you give me a secret, I'll give you one."

Yuri breathed in, deeply. "It's the Fitzpatricks, okay? They paid some of our guys to take the blame for everything."

Logan and Veronica stood in silence before they both started speaking at once.

"That was too easy." Logan pouted.

"I was seriously thinking I'd use the taser at least once."

"Yeah, me too. Or you know, I thought I was going to get to punch him or something."

"Totally."

"There is always the next time, right?"

They nodded for a few times before they took off, leaving the man yelling and cursing.

"You left the recorder there for police to find?" Logan asked Veronica while getting into the Camaro.

"I'm sorry." Veronica looked around. "Is there another PI assistant here?"

Logan smiled. "Funny."

"Well, you know me. I'm nothing without my sense of humor."

"As long as those boots get to come along, then… Whatever you say, Veronica. Whatever you say."


End file.
